This life is yours,

FOR YOUR GLORY

I am so increadibly passionate about glorifying God and just furthering his kingdom! It is such a beautiful thing. This year I will be returning to Colombia, South America and God is working in my heart a lot. I KNOW that God had this second trip in his plan from the start. The passion that he has embeded in my heart for Colombia is literally indescribable. After going last year, I learned so much about the culture and the people and I learned what an out of country mission trip really felt like, and that is when I decided that I am going to devote my life to serving God and others through mission trips. I had felt God knocking on my heart and calling me to overseas but I let fear and other things get in the way. Then I just surrendered and gave my all to God. So like I said, this has pretty much become a passion of mine. The three places that I am just.. blown away by are Africa, Colombia, and Cambodia. So I am blessed to be able to go back to Colombia and use the knowledge and experience that I have gained this past year to reach the needs of those who live there. God is doing so much to prepare me for this trip. See, I found that I was distracted by earthly things.. like, money, or my job, or my car, so on - so forth. I even found myself distracted from God because so some of my relationships. So as far as the whole earthly posessions, I didn't know how to deal with it. So I decided that the best thing was to use my posessions to help others around me! It has been awesome because I have just been able to serve like CRAZY! It is beautiful. And as for relationships, I had to step up and take the initiative to end one friendship because it was really just hurting me so much and I was trying to just uplift this friend on my own but now I have been reminded that only God can provide the true and eternal strength that we need so I have to leave things in his hands because he is the only one who can water the seeds that we plant in the heart of others. But yeah, so this is just heavy on my heart. I dont really know what else to talk about. I am hoping when we go to Colombia that I can talk to to Darren (our guide) about getting even more plugged in with YWAM than I already am. and that is it for now I guess.

God, kindle in me the desire to go anywhere, at anytime, at any cost. To do anything to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ.

nothing much,

So This week has been chaos. I have had ACT/MME testing all week and I have been stressed to the max. Yesterday I just went home and didn't move because my brain was fried haha. Today I went to lunch with the beautiful Phyllis and then we just walked all over wyandotte. We talked about our dreams and goals and stuff and it was really beautiful (except for when we were attacked by seagulls! hahahaa) But yeah. I dont really know. A lot is happening but its not all stuff that I feel like typing out. Things are getting better though and that's all that matters.
I am really inspired but it's all bottled up inside of me...




GOD HAS REALLY SHOWN ME HOW EFFECTIVE PRAYER IS.

East to West,

So much is on my heart. I haven't blogged in quite sometime but sooo much has happened. I am going back to Colombia, South America for another mission trip! I am so excited and I feel called to do so much more while I am there. Last year was my first out of country mission trip and I think that I was scared and nervous and I think I tried to hard to search for broken people. I have been praying since we got back from Colombia that I would recieve the chance to return and that God would use me even more. The past few months, God has really spoken to me. One thing that he has really taught me is to just listen to him. This year, I am going to Colombia more willing. I surrender myself and I am completely willing to be uncomfortable for God. I want to do everything to move Colombia. I don't to leave and have the people be the same. So in order to do the huge things that I know God is planning for me to do, I am working hard to do these things:

• read my bible more


• pray


• fast


• really just take time to listen to Gods voice over my own


• practice my spanish. A LOT.
  
• pray, pray, pray!!!!!!

and that is all I have but I am sure more will be coming.
If you are reading this and willing to pray as well, it would be greatly appreciated if you pray for the health of my teammates and myself, financial support, safe travels, and emotional and spiritual preparation. I am so excited for this trip especially because I have grown so much spiritually since this time last year and I know that it is going to make a HUGE difference.

Another thing still on my heart is the world race. Even though I will not be a participant until I am 21 years old, I am still trying to prepare spiritually and I am trying to really listen to God and have a heart like his. I long to be more like him every day in every way. I have been in contact with some of the administrators and they seem to be such great people. They are even sending me information about mission work I can do through them next summer. And they have a Uganda trip that is three months so I am really praying about it because I have felt called to go there for years now and I have always planned on it being when I graduated from school so this trip seems as if it would be perfect.

Outside of that, the rest is just life. Friday I went dress shopping with Cassandra and then we had dinner with my mom. After that, we went to her house and had a party for my lovely sister, alyshas, birthday party. Then Saturday was Ian and Ashleys wedding. It was beautiful. Then I hungout with Villian, Alysha, her two friends and the lovely Cassandra! c: But yeah, outside of that. There is nothing to really talk about. I mean, a lot is on my heart but nothing I can put into words quite yet!

PLEASE KEEP POSTED ♥

xoxox

my future,

I would love to do this but im not sure it is what God has planned for me so I am praying on it.

find me,

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I really just needed to get that off my chest, hah. This post is just going to be ranting. I know, I know.. Nothing new. So lately, when I talk to people or see them I will think of things I wish I could say to them so maybe, just maybe, their eyes would be open to the lies they are feeding themselves. I wish I could put them in front of a mirror and show them what they are becoming but instead, I am sitting back and observing it all occur. I could be saving lives.. but I am not. Im just watching. I have watched so many people in my youth group and in my school change for the worse and it is breaking my heart. So why am I afraid to speak up?! I don't understand. Like I will even begin to talk to a friend about my observations and what I feel they are doing to their life and the subject goes from that to "where'd you get your shirt." ARE YOU KIDDING ME. For those of you who know me, this is so out of character. Usually when I become concerned about someone and their behaviors, I tell them because I care and I want them to be aware. I know for a fact that sometimes you come to better realization when someone else tells you something.. then you are like "whoa.. they are right." So thats what I try to do for others, in the most gentle and loving way possible but lately its just not happening. I also dont know what I am going to do when school gets back in because honestly, I only talk to amanda and the kids I eat lunch with. I dont really have friends or anyone to talk to in my classes. It makes school so much harder for me. I mean, I am constantly talking to people and loving them but it is actually making me more lonely. I just cant wait to get out of there. Okay and now I dont know what to do because my heart is seriously being tugged at to do something HUGE Obviously, I am just praying and seeking God, waiting to see where he wants me to go but now I feel like I need to do something. Like, i feel like there is something big in store for me and I feel like it is going to occur soon. I feel like my heart is one the edge of taking a huge leap of faith.So much goes on in my mind at once. Its like I cant drowned it all out except for when I write, take pictures, and listen/make music. My heart is seriously being steered in so many directions and there is so much I want to do. It all started with making encouragement notes. I feel called to just be an open map for God. Its like there is no substitute for action right now. My heart is breaking for the things that break Gods heart. I feel like Mission work brings me so much joy because of the joy God recieves through missions. I am so scared to go. I am so scared about the risks I am going to have to take. This trip may be dangerous and even though I trust that God will provide, I still worry about money and I will stand on my own two feet. There is so much that I will lose with this decision but I feel that through serving God and bringing glory to his name, the reward will be greater then anything imaginable. I was talking to a dear friend of mine and we were talking about how we are facing similar emotions and she said, "You can give without loving, but you can't love without giving." Now her perspective of the phrase was different then mine but either way, it opened my eyes. I can not love God without sacraficing some. Also lately, I have just been so facinated with the idea of marriage and my husband. I am so excited to meet someone with my same passions and interests. Someone who God made for me. I am even facinated with finding a boyfriend? yeah.. I have not dated in a long time and idk. Its hard to say that I dont want to date someone because thats not true but on the same note I always get asked out and say no. I cant exactly explain it. Im ready though. I have consistantly kept my eyes fixed on God and he is telling me that its okay now. Its okay for me to date. I think before, I was just so caught up in pursuing a love other than Gods. Everyone longs to feel love but Gods love is the only one that is eternal. I am trusting in him and I plan to date someone that I can grow from and help to grow. I want someone who will just be silly and have fun with me.. Im not looking for the arguments and difficult stuff (even though each relationship has that stuff). I am just waiting to meet him and cautiously make my decision.. I dont know. I will just leave it at that. Honestly, I will probably blog more later.

forever is over,

honestly, i dont have much to say. i have finally taken the initiative to make change and i think it is permanent. the decisions i have been making are not easy but it feels like so much weight has been uplifted from my shoulders. God has been speaking to me soooo much lately. His will is being revealed daily and it is blowing me away. I am so scared but so ready. I am ready to do what scares me and makes me uncomfortable. With that said, I am so excited for the new series starting at my youth group! But anyways, yeahh. I mean, i have had ups and downs, and good and bad the past few months but God has strengthened me and helped me to move forward and keep my identity in him. I am so blessed and so blown away. There is a sort of peace that has a real, genuine, and permanent smile plastered across my face! I feel called to go somewhere. I mean, I know I want to go back to Colombia and I would like to go to Africa and share Gods love and word with the people there but I feel like God is tugging on my heart! I am listening and listening but I just feel him tugging so I am really trying to just serve and serve and serve and speak of Gods love and pray and read my bible and spend hours and hours of time with God but I still keep just feeling him call me. I am trying to stay patient but i am so excited for God to reveal to me what is in store for my future. anyways, haha i will end with all this randomness:







blehhhh! My heart is racing because I am just sooo excited and happy and nervous. I want to wash the feet of others. I want to be family to people. a mother, a sister, a mentor, an inspiration. I want to hold the hands of people in need. I want to show them the LOVE OF GOD. I want to stand beside the broken and I want to spend my whole life serving. ♥

seeking,

Heb 11:6And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

As I read this, three words stuck out as if they were written in bold. “earnestly seek him.” Sometimes when I am praying or taking time out to worship God, it feels as if I am distracted by the things going on around me. I will go to my secret place to escape the world and have one on one time with God but distractions always make it into my thoughts. Thoughts about lab notebooks, and drama practice, and all sorts of things. When I face these distractions it becomes hard but I fix my eyes on Jesus and Earnestly, seriously, and diligently I keep praying and seeking. Often when this happens, I enter a mental and emotional state where I am in every way embraced by Gods love. I found that when I spend time with God and do not let the distractions get in my way, I am more likely to listen closer to what God is trying to tell me and my heart becomes so connected to Gods that our realationship becomes more intimate and personal. During these times I begin to realize that my thoughts and prayers change and I take them in a new direction. I become so aware of God being present that at that moment my prayers begin to get filled with faith! Consider setting a goal today to earnestly seek God until he is found. Whether it is through prayer, fasting, worshiping through writing, music.. just try to find something that helps you to connect with God. Maybe you could set a goal to try this every day for a week or even a month, what about for a life time? Our verse says he “rewards” those who earnestly seek him. Dont live a luke warm life. Dont just be one person inside church and a different person when you are with your friends. NOT GOOD. God wants to puke us out when we are lukewarm. Seek God, pursue his will for you, love as he loves you, shower people with grace, serve others, STEP UP YOU GUYS. LETS STEP UP AND EARNESTLY SEEK GOD.