Woah,

not much is new. im coming home tomorrow in the evening. I have Chemistry and a research paper all due when i get back o i have to get a move on things. despite how much i love it down here, i really cannot wait to get home and be with my amazing friends. i dont have anything else to say really. we are going bowling and hopefully horseback riding today!

Here are some post secrets:





















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that is all <3

my future,

is decided.


im getting a masters in physcology
i hope to minor in:
missions (global)
bible studies
and kids ministry.


school school schoool! (:

Thankful,

I am thankful for so much!
I am thankful for:
My mom
My family
My best friend, Phyllis
Cassie
Brooke
Nichole
All of my friends
My youth pastor
and his wife
my camera
grace
freedom
music
our house
our car
my friends in Colombia
Phineas and Ferb
being able to love God and
not be persecuted in a huge way.
texting
slobberface
blogging
my friends in yearbook
having a great lockermate
Karen Dayann Tangua Cuenca
the right to an education
strong woman to influence me
margie
certain teachers:
Mr.(little) Baker
Mrs. Boller
Mr.Keast
Mrs.Sims
Mr.Wymore
Im thankful for having good health

Im thankful for so much and I could go on for hours. I am so blessed.. SOOO BLESSED.

If you are reading this, I love you and I am VERY thankful that you are a part of my life ♥ (:

miss.independent,

Psalm 55:22- 22 Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.

Psalm 31:24- Be strong, and let your heart take courage,
all you who wait for the Lord!

Philippians 4:13- I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Proverbs 10:12- Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.


So I am usually a very independent person (i get it from my mom.) So usually when people walk out of my life or change, its just an old chip off the shoulder, but that is not the case this time. It feels like every song reminds me of you and it really just sucks. And im not dependent on you, I just miss you and how things were.
I felt myself bringing back traits that I claimed as mine in the past. For example, instead of turning to God during all of this, I turned to my emotions. BIG NO-NO. haha that resulted in absolutely nothing except arguments and a very unstable stephanie. Now this post is not to tell you about my relationship status and the problems we are facing, No. Its simply to share how God took a miserable situation and taught me stuff from it! So here I am walking around all upset and not having a care about what the world has to say about me. WHOA! That is out of character! Usually I want people to be happy while in my presence. I like them to look at me and think of me as a genuine friend. Reality is that wasnt the case anymore. I didnt want to talk to anyone. I wanted to sulk in my sadness. But then it came to the point where every form of worship to me felt pointless. Whether it was music, writing, devotionals, of even photography, I felt ashamed and uninspired. I felt like I had hit rock bottom even though I knew I hadnt. This morning, my mom and I were driving home from phyllis and margies house and the fog was seriously intense! There was a stop sign about five feet from us and we could not even see it. The fog completely blinded us. I kind of reflected my past two weeks on that. You see, through this whole thing, God was sitting there saying "Im right here. Im right here. My arms are open. you dont have to be this way." but i could barely see him. I could barely feel him but i knew he was tugging at my heart. I knew I was going to pull through this and I knew I was going to be fine but for some reason I kept deciding to be upset. I cant exactly explain it but a very smart friend of mine told me that you can change your mood. It is up to you. At first I thought that was ridiculous but then I realized that she was actually very right! I had control over my mood and my behavior. I could sulk in pain or I could just turn to God and cast my burdens onto him and be relieved and forgiven AGAIN. So before when God was sitting there saying "Im right here. Im right here. My arms are open. you dont have to be this way," It didnt hit me but then as I spent hours in prayer, it hit me and I thought of a line from a song that we are doing a drama to. It says: Hey unfaithful, hey ungraceful, hey unloving, I will love you. JESUS, IM READY TO COME HOME.
Whoa! haha. And that was it I just cried out to God and I felt ashamed for even being so dependent on someone else other then God. Thats when that cloud of fog just went away. Sure, I am still missing my amazing friend but I am going to be okay. You learn from every experience. So now I basically want to just dance and praise God for the amazing things he does on a daily basis. It blows me away. I saw the old me when I looked in the mirror this week. The old insecure, ugly, inconfident, worthless feeling girl and it was a huge wake up call. So I kind of went on a rampage and touched some different things but I really just had to let all of this out. I feel refreshed and like I have started over. My biggest focus now is just reaching out to people and loving them. I have been doing this in a lot of ways this year but I would like to step out of my comfort zone even more! It is going to be beautiful :) well I suppose I will end this with some post secrets :) Have a beautiful Sunday!















The end♥

uninspired,

actually, that is completely impossible! I am always inspired by God and his creation and everything that he has to offer! But I did have writers block today. It has been awful but here I go!

Hebrews 13:5
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
There's an old saying: "Money can't buy happiness." Hahaha! How about a big fat FALSE! Money can buy happiness. You can buy all kinds of things that'll make you happy.. I mean think about new shoes, a purse, a manicure, halo 3, a DVD, a cool car. I think that everyone can agree that these things can make you happy. But here's the thing: happiness is only temporary. Oh! See the catch there. So sure you can buy all of these things and be happy but by fulfilling your happiness through materialistic items, you will be let down. This happiness will not be eternal! The shoes will go out of style, the purse will wear and tear, the nail polish will chip, the DVD will get boring after the tenth time you watch it, and even the car will get old and broken down eventually.
Instead of pursuing happiness, pursue contentment. Content by definition means to be satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else. And being satisfied is a good feeling. It's a secure feeling.
So how do you find contentment? Well I have searched throughout my life for contentment and happiness. I have turned to clothes, friends, talents, you name it. What I have learned is contentment comes from trusting God. It's acknowledging that everything you have is a gift from God and is a blessing. It's admiring and appreciating the things God has given you. God says in the bible not to worry, he will provide so we should not continue to yell “MORE MORE MORE! ” but we should be grateful. The most overwhelming and satisfying emotions can come from just learning how to use the things God has given you to be a blessing to others.
I will let you in on a little something… read this first!
Matthew 5:3-12
3"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Now I don’t know about you but Jesus’ words here goes against my perception of happiness. It goes against lies that the world has fed me and it even goes against what my heart has to say! Even though this goes against what I have been told and what I have learned, I will follow it because I'm going to get my instructions for life from the One who gave us life in the first place.

I have found in the past two years that to be happy and content, you have to be selfless and othersish instead of selfish.

Now I have not done this yet but I want to provide you with a task, or a mission.

This week, step out of your comfort zone and try something new. Take a homeless person out to lunch, talk to the misfit at your school, tell your parents how much you value them and do something like taking out the trash, spend some time talking to folks at a retirement home, smile more, or even share the message of the gospel with your friends instead of unloading all of your problems on them ( Not that that is a bad thing!), I hope that you read Matthew 5:3-12 so many times that you say it in your sleep! Do whatever it takes to engrave these words in your heart and in your mind. Even just loving someone can do the trick. Sometimes, that is all people need. Actually.. a lot of the time, that is all people need. Try to make this upcoming week revolve around someone else. BE COURAGEOUS AND DON’T BACK DOWN! Try to make a difference in somebody else’s life and tell me what you experience or what obstacles you face.

hey unloving,

I will love you.



At times like these it's hard to find the right words to say,
And I know that words alone won't take the pain away.
But, I know a man who sits high, and looks low,
And He is saying, "My child, you're not alone."
He is saying, "I love you and I am concerned about you,
And all the pain and hurt that you are going through."
He is saying, "Lean on me, I will be your comfort through this time.
And although it’s dark now, the sun again will shine."

Even though it’s hard to see through tears that you now cry,
Just know that there will come a day when your tears, He will dry.
And though words alone won’t ease the pain that you now feel,
Just know that in time, your heart, He will heal.

I pray that God will give you peace, and strength in your heart
As He holds you in His arms, and from you, He won’t depart.
May you always be encouraged, may you ever hold on.
And remember, "My child, you're not alone."

All you need is love,

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:34-35)

Lets thinkg about love. Not the love that we see in movies but real love and christ like love. Should loving every person come naturally? I think personally it does not because if it did, why would Jesus have to make it a command? I mean, lets think about this with an open mind.. Think about your annoying co-worker or the kid that you sit by in class that nobody likes. It is easy to treat that person how the world treats them. It is easiest to just not talk to them or ignore them or be rude because lets face it, they get on your nerves. But that is not what Jesus said to do. He said to love as he has loved us. That means that we have to go out and love people unconditionally, despite their habits and annoying ways. Im not sure about you, but I want to have the ability through the Holy Spirit to live a life of genuine love. Actually, I have the ability to do so. Not only is it an ability but it is a responsibility too. If you think about it.. Jesus makes it clear that self-sacrificial love is the way that the world will know we are children of God. Notice that Christ did not say: "by this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you know many verses and have your theology solid..." or " by this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you attend church, speak in tongues, and avoid all sin..." He simplified it for us- love one another.

So now that we have established it as a neccessity, how do we show this love? I honestly think that the best way to express it is through our unconditional acceptance of people regardless of race, creed or characteristic. Whether a person is kind to you or treats you like dirt, whether you agree with their life style or stand against it.. If you really think about it.. all of these things are pretty irrelevant when it comes to obeying God and loving others. If you set up any limitations or boundaries for loving others, then you are disobedient to Christ and ineffective in your witness.

Dont believe what im saying? Searching for an argument? Lets turn to the bible!

Look at John 4. Jesus is in a reasonably tense situation; He is a Jew, living in a land occupied by Romans. The Romans do not particularly like the Jews, and the Jews feel mutual. but here is what amazes me.. when Jesus is asked to heal a Roman official's son, He does so immediately — no strings attached, no games played, no catch.
Jesus does not hold grudges, and he doesnt require anything before loving someone. He cares for people regardless of their personality, position, or possessions.

NOW HERE IS WHAT HAS BEEN HITTING MY HEART HARD. We should not expect those who do not know Christ to live their daily lives as we live ours. Unbelievers need to be shown that they will be accepted, loved, and welcomed by the family of God. This acceptance should not come because of any qualifications or actions on their part, but because God LOVES them. God loves people UNCONDITIONALLY. So should we.

There are people in ours schools and where we work who are lonely and are not accepted. A lot of people feel ashamed and outcast and sometimes it is people like me and you who make them feel this way. If we make anyone feel like an outcast because they are different then us, we bring shame to Christianity. If we check people out to make sure they're cool before we share the gospel, we are allowing our prejudices to interfere with God's work. Who are we to decide who we reach out to. We should put the situation and let God decide. I have done this and I will let you in on a little story. I had been praying for a way to reach out to the students in my school and finally God called me to sit with a different table every day. So the first few days was fun but then the eighth day, I was standing in line and God put this table on my heart. Let me describe them as people in my school would.. the kids sitting at this table were "Goths" "scenesters" "punks" and the occassional "pot heads." So I tried to avoid this calling and sit at a different table but instead, i held my end of the bargain and I went and walked over to the table. So there I was, standing in my pink american eagle shirt and hollister pants and they are decked out in black. So I sit down and try to strike up conversation. Finally, a topic that interested them was music!!! By the end of lunch, it didnt matter how either of us looked or who we hung out with because we all shared a passion and interest for music! So we bonded and it was amazing.

I truely believe that by us not accepting people, we steer them AWAY from God, possibly forever. NOT GOOD. They then turn to other things. Things that will accept them. At that point Satan and those he has deceived will stretch out their welcoming arms. If the enemy has the ability to "love" and accept people, then how much more should we! Remember, people will go where they are accepted and stay where they are loved. So I encourage you to please just pray and keep your eyes open for someone who is broken and in your school. Pray for them and love them. Be a friend to them. You dont even have to tell them about your youth group or what God has done for you. Take babysteps. God has called us to love so lets do it!

Tell me how God is working in your life (:

laying by the memories,

of things unspoken.

i havent been on top of this whole blog thing at all but I realized how much it always helped me to vent and stuff. So here it goes. i dont know where to start with this or where I am even going as of right now. It is seriously in my heart right now to go to a different country. Even though I would like to, I know that I cannot go tomorrow or maybe not even within the next year because I have a lot of work to do here in my own city. I love how I am living my life as a mission trip right now, trying to serve God and love others every second of every day because that truly is our mission. I have been stepping out in ways unimaginable but I know that this is the beginning. I know that right now, God is using me in my school and in this city and he is teaching me things along the way. Then, when I travel to other countries, I will be so prepared and I will know how to reach people. But really the only way to reach people is through God. I dont really know how to word things right lately. hmm. but yeah, It has been in my heart so much. Sometimes I get discouraged or i just want to take a break from studying my bible and serving but then I just look at kids and adults all over the world and I am so inspired by the smiles on their faces. My heart is longing to meet these people, to greet them with a genuine smile and embrace them in a powerful hug! I have not met any of them but they hold a special place in my heart already. I cannot even begin to explain it. I am ready to go. I am ready to get out of this high school scene and move on with life. I know everyone says to enjoy it while I can but all that I can help thinking about is the fact that I am done with high school in less then two years. I stole the pictures below right out of my general interests! Some are from Colombia and some are people that I do not even know but I love them sooooo much.

The people who inspire me. You hold a special place in my heart <3

inspired

i am inspired by my amazing youth pastor and his beautiful wife. Even more, My amazing creator and savior ♥