Sunday, November 15, 2009

laying by the memories,

of things unspoken.

i havent been on top of this whole blog thing at all but I realized how much it always helped me to vent and stuff. So here it goes. i dont know where to start with this or where I am even going as of right now. It is seriously in my heart right now to go to a different country. Even though I would like to, I know that I cannot go tomorrow or maybe not even within the next year because I have a lot of work to do here in my own city. I love how I am living my life as a mission trip right now, trying to serve God and love others every second of every day because that truly is our mission. I have been stepping out in ways unimaginable but I know that this is the beginning. I know that right now, God is using me in my school and in this city and he is teaching me things along the way. Then, when I travel to other countries, I will be so prepared and I will know how to reach people. But really the only way to reach people is through God. I dont really know how to word things right lately. hmm. but yeah, It has been in my heart so much. Sometimes I get discouraged or i just want to take a break from studying my bible and serving but then I just look at kids and adults all over the world and I am so inspired by the smiles on their faces. My heart is longing to meet these people, to greet them with a genuine smile and embrace them in a powerful hug! I have not met any of them but they hold a special place in my heart already. I cannot even begin to explain it. I am ready to go. I am ready to get out of this high school scene and move on with life. I know everyone says to enjoy it while I can but all that I can help thinking about is the fact that I am done with high school in less then two years. I stole the pictures below right out of my general interests! Some are from Colombia and some are people that I do not even know but I love them sooooo much.

The people who inspire me. You hold a special place in my heart <3

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The first, and eighth picture just grab at my heart everytime that I see them. Especially the eighth one. Its funny how one picture of one little girl that you dont even know can just put you into tears. This is just going to be a random jumble of thoughts now but thats pretty much what it has been all along. I love how I look at people now through God's eyes. Ever since Colombia, I just see things in a different perspective. I see how beautiful people really are and how beautiful I am. I see how valuable a genuine smile is. I see how cherishable friendships are. I am really trying to view things as Jesus would have. I notice and see beauty in a lot more now.. like the moon and the sunset, sunrise and the leaves fallng.. I appreciate the more simple aspects of life such as a hug from my grandma, a voicemail telling me to just have a good day, or even a bracelet made by a friend. I also am more aware to how much I go out of my way to reach others. Every second of everday. I try reaching others in so many different ways, with a smile, a compliment, a shoulder to cry on, and encouraging text message or phone call. I am just so much more aware and so much more thankful for the smaller things. Like I said.. I didnt know where this was going but this is where it ends I guess. Just some random thoughts. Sorry if you feel like i wasted your time.



*Matthew 28:19-20:

9 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

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